Close Encounter of the 6 Months Old Kind
by Artdirector123
Summary: Redemption AU. a collection of stories of the homeworld gems interacting with Connie and Steven's baby.
1. Chapter 1

"The position for holding this creature is awkward," Peridot complained, "It's very squishy and will not stop moving, no matter how much I command it to do otherwise."

Connie chuckled slightly as she watched the small green gem hold her and Steven's daughter for the first time. While the Crystal Gems had been ecstatic about the new baby(after they were assured that no one would have to give up their form for the baby to be born), the former homeworlders were less than enthused. For the majority of her pregnancy, Jasper, Lapis, and Peridot had been utterly confused by the whole situation. She couldn't exactly blame them, as they probably had little to no knowledge of how other species reproduce. Lapis fell in love with the little one soon enough, but Jasper and Peridot could care less about the whole thing. Neither of them had a proper introduction until now.

"Looks like she already has a bit of a rebellious streak in her. I wonder where THAT came from," Steven commented. Connie rolled her eyes at that.

"If it inherited that, then I still don't understand why it didn't gain either of your levels of intellect," Peridot commented, "It can't even form proper words!" The baby then decided to squeal and gurgle as if to prove Peridot's point.

"She's just a baby, Peridot," Connie explained, "I've told you babies aren't born with that kind of knowledge. They have to learn over time."

"How inefficient…" Peridot commented. The baby continued to babble at her as she reached one of her tiny arms up towards peridot's visor. "I really don't understand why you haven't evolved past that yet," she continued, avoiding the small hand reaching up towards her.

Steven shrugged. "I guess that's not what nature intended," he said, "but if you ask me, I don't see what the problem is. A blank slate means unlimited potential, right?"

"Hmmm…" She tapped her chin for a second before nodding. A small smile began to play on her face as an idea came to mind. Peridot then handed the tiny child back to her mother. The baby squealed and reached its arms out as she did so. "Thank for this...experience, Steven. Connie. It was interesting to say the least," she stated in her usual monotone.

"No problem, Peridot. If you ever want to spend time with her again, just let us know ok?" Steven said with a smile. "Now," he said turning to the baby lying in her mother's arms, "It's about time we put you down for a nap." He tickled under her chin, causing the child to giggle before letting out a sleepy yawn.

"Actually," Peridot started, "If I may, I would like to help with this…"nap" process."

Connie and Steven exchanged a look of confusion. "Alright," Connie said, "What would you like to help with?" A smirk stretched across the green gem's face.

….

"Now," Peridot addressed the human infant being held in one of her arms. It was swaddled up in a blanket and leaning on her shoulder. "I understand that your biological predecessors have a common practice of reading you a "fairy-tale" before you go into stasis," she continued as she searched for a book among the many heavy texts lining the book shelf. "Honestly, I feel it is a wasted opportunity, as Connie has told me at this age you are at your most receptive," she griped. The baby stopped sucking its thumb momentarily to yawn again. Peridot smiled as she found the book she was looking for and pulled it from the shelf.

"While I cannot fully understand the meaning behind that noise, I'm going to assume you were agreeing with me," she said walking over to the rocking chair and sitting herself down. The book sat in her lap while the baby rested in the crook of her arm. "That is why I decided that this time, you should get something with a little more substance," she announced with a proud grin as she cracked open the heavy text. The baby sucked its thumb as it looked down at the pictureless book with curiosity. "We'll start with one of my favorite subjects: Quantum Physics!" she said excitedly, "Alright, how about something simple first, like the String Theory."

 **hey, i hope you guys liked this! let me know what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**To be honest I wasn't originally planning on continuing this but because people liked it so much, here you go. Enjoy!**

"No! Stop that!" Peridot cried as she grabbed the screwdriver from the child's hand. She shivered slightly in disgust as she felt slobber on the handle from where little Sunni had put it in her mouth. The baby reached out for the tool and whimpered from her seat at the high chair. "No. A lever- I mean screwdriver is not for ingesting!" she chastised. She then set the tool as far away from her and Sunni as possible, and wiped her hands with disinfectant. Connie had explained to her before that babies learn about things by placing them in their mouth, but that didn't stop her from finding the action utterly disgusting. It had been a little over a month since their initial introduction to each other, and while she did not become nearly as affectionate with the infant like Lapis had, she did have a certain fondness for the child…when she wasn't crying or slobbering on her tools.

So much so that she had offered to look after the infant for her parents while they were busy. Peridot continued to work at her bench when the warp pad sounded. Steven stepped down from the crystal surface, tapping a pink bubble to send it away. "Hey Peri, thanks for-" he began but stopped when he saw her. "Peridot!" he cried walking over to the table, "I thought I told you not to have her at your workbench! Don't you remember what happened last time?"

"What _nearly_ happened, you mean. And yes I do. That is why she is safely secured inside this containment chair," she explained.

"Something bad could still happen. What if something caught on fire?" he asked.

"I'm not working with anything exceedingly flammable so I doubt that would have ever been an issue," she argued, "Besides, she likes to watch me work. Isn't that right?" Peridot turned to the baby, who was currently chewing on her own fingers. She started grinning when she noticed Steven and Peridot were staring at her. "See?" she said with a confident smile as she crossed her arms.

Steven rolled his eyes, but grinned slightly. "She's a baby, Peridot. I doubt she really understood what you said," he argued as he started freeing his child from the high chair, "but I guess if she's alright, I can't stay mad at you." He then turned to Sunni in his arms, "I hope you had fun today, but now it's time to say 'bye bye' to Peridot!" he cooed.

Sunni giggled in her father's arms. "Paw-eee-dah!" she squealed.

Steven's smile faded and he looked at her in surprise. "D-did she just?…" he started.

"What? What did she do?" Peridot asked in confusion.

Steven started laughing. "She said her first word, Peri! She said her first word!" he cried ecstatically.

"What did she say?" she asked.

"Didn't you hear? She said your name, Peridot," he responded.

"Paw-eee-dahd!" Sunni said again.

"That's not my name," Peridot argued furrowing her brow, "At least she isn't pronouncing it correctly."

"Well she doesn't have teeth so that would be kind of hard," he pointed out. "Come on, Sunni!" he said excitedly, "Let's go see mommy and tell her about this!" He began running towards the door.

"I really don't get why you're so excited," Peridot said turning back to her work, "I've already been teaching her how to read basic words. Speaking would logically be the next step."

Steven stopped and slowly turned towards Peridot. "I'm sorry...what?" Steven said.

"I've taught her how to read basic words," she repeated, "Granted, her literary vocabulary is very limited."

"How?!" he questioned, "Show me."

Peridot pulled out two stacks of five cards. She spread the first one with words out on the table and sat Sunni down in front of them. "Alright Sunni," she said, holding up a card from the other deck, "What is this?" On the card was a picture of a hammer. After a few seconds of staring at the card, the little girl smacked her hand down on the card in front of her with the word printed on it. "Good!" Peridot praised, "How about this?" She flipped the card to a picture of a leaf. Once again Sunni stared at it for a little while before smacking her hand down on the corresponding card in front of her. As they went through the rest of the cards, Steven looked on completely baffled.

"This is...amazing!" he exclaimed. A smile spread across his face as he did so. "Look at you, you little brainiac!" he cooed, scooping up his daughter and kissing her on the cheek. "Though this does kind of worry me too. What exactly do you get up to when we leave her with you?" he questioned.

"Nothing dangerous, I assure you. I mostly just work on ways to educate her and keep her entertained at the same time," Peridot waved him off. As much as she tried, she couldn't quite hide the proud smile that had started forming on her face as Steven praised her.

"Well it seems to have paid off," he quipped, "Maybe you could start some kind of business around this."

Peridot's face scrunched up. "Absolutely not!" she snapped, "Human infants are disgusting! They drool, they poop, they cry, they stick things in their vocal orifices...there is no way I am dealing with that all day!"

"Unless it's Sunni?" Steven said with a smirk.

Peridot mirrored the smirk as she looked up at him. "Exactly!"


	3. Chapter 3

This was insane she had decided. Completely inconceivable. Jasper stared at Pearl playing with the infant across the room from her seat on the couch. She glared in suspicion and slight disgust. They had all fallen for the little creature. All except her that is. She had expected the Crystal Gems to. The had spent so much time on earth that they had grown soft for its inhabitants, no matter how feeble. Lapis growing affection for the creature was not expected but not surprising either. Peridot, however, was a complete shock. Just like the rest of them, she became wrapped around the tiny thing's finger. How did it do it? It couldn't walk or talk or do anything to provide for itself! Why did they all love it so much?! Did it have some kind of ability to put other under its spell if they touched it?

A buzzer sounded from the kitchen, signally the food was ready. "Hold on, I'll be right back," Pearl said to Sunni. She placed the ball they had been playing with infront of her, before getting up to go to the oven. She was preparing a layered pasta dish for Steven and Connie when they got back. She still had one layer left to add, so she would be a little while.

Jasper turned her attention back to the child a few feet away after she had passed by. Said child was now hitting the plastic ball against the , the ball bounced out of her has and rolled over to Jasper's leg. Sunni took one look at where it had stopped before immediately starting to crawl over to it. Jasper tensed up for second as the tiny thing began to draw near. Just as she was about to grab the ball, Sunni finally seemed to notice Jasper's presence.

She looked up at the giant gem who was glaring back down at her. She had hoped to scare the child off, but instead she grinned up at her with a gummy grin. Jasper's expression softened into confusion as Sunni abandoned her ball and gripped Jasper's boot. The child attempted to hoist herself up into a standing position, but fell back down onto her rump. Subconsciously a small grin had worked its way onto Jasper's face. She gave snort of amusement before realising what she was doing and quickly banished the expression from her face in favor of a more threatening one.

She picked up the child by her onesie and lifted her to eye level. Sunni squealed and kicked her legs slightly, grin not leaving her face. "How are you doing this?" Jasper growled, "You're nothing more than a feeble, little runt. How is it that you have them at your every beck and call?" The baby didn't respond as it dangled from her hand, and instead kicked her feet some more. "Whatever it is, I'm not falling for it like them," she continued, "You got that, brat?" Had she been paying attention, Sunni might have actually been frightened by the orange gem. Instead, she was focused on a very shiny object right in the middle of Jasper's face.

Jasper's eyes grew wide as Sunni suddenly grabbed her gem. She then tugged on it, causing Jasper to jerk back and let out a noise of surprise and Sunni to giggle. Jasper narrowed her eyes at the baby as she covered her gem. Her mouth twitched slightly.

….

"Alright little one, I'm back!" Pearl walked into the living room only to find that Sunni was no longer sitting on the floor. Panic suddenly began to flood into her as she looked around on the floor and under furniture. "Sunni?! Sunni!" she called.

A low chuckle came as a response to her calls. Pearl turned to see Sunni sitting on Jasper's thigh and gnawing on one of the large gem's fingers. Said gem was looking down at the baby with an amused expression. "You know," she said, "She's not as bad as I though!"

 **Hope you guys liked this chapter! let me know what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4

"I should be the one to calm her down! I have read every manual to human infant care I could find and memorized them!"

"What good are methods if you're too weak to even hold her? Connie said babies need support when you hold them. If these arms don't fit the word "support" to a "T", then none will!"

"I am more than capable of holding her, you clod! Supportive you may be, but at least I'm not capable of accidentally crushing her!"

"Why you little-"

Lapis sighed and her eye twitched as she watched them. They had been bickering like this all morning. Not over this particular topic, but over what it was relating to. When Connie had to go to work and the Crystal Gems plus Steven had a mission to go on, the three of them had been left to care for Sunni. Usually when this happened, Lapis and Peridot would trade off every hour, giving them an even amount of time with the child. Now that Jasper had grown some affection for the child, their system had been thrown into chaos. It didn't help that she wasn't exactly a fan of group work, so putting together a new schedule was almost impossible.

While Jasper generally did not try an argue with Lapis(for a very good reason), that didn't stop her from butting heads with Peridot. They argued over playtime with the child, who would put her down for a nap, and who would change her diaper(though this was more of trying to push the job on one another). Lapis was begining to wonder who was really the child here. The only time they had stopped was when Sunni was asleep.

Now they were arguing over who would calm her down after she accidentally woke up from her nap early. They had been arguing for the past five minutes, all the while Sunni was still crying. Lapis rubbed her temples and let out a sigh before deciding enough was enough.

"I also don't loose my temper with things at the drop of a hat!"

"That's a lie and you-" Jasper's words were cut off as she was suddenly engulfed in a bubble of water. Peridot was with her. They both looked down to see themselves floating in midair and Lapis calmly walking past them to the child crying in her cradle.

As she looked down at her, Lapis's annoyed expression was replaced with a much softer one."Hey, little Sunshine!" she cooed to the child as she picked her up, "Aw, what's the matter? Did something wake you up?" The child continued to scream but she was now looking up at Lapis. "Shhh. Shhh. It's ok...Oh look! Something's here to see you!" Lapis continued. Suddenly, something began floating in the baby's line of sight. It was a small bubble of water manipulated to look like a dolphin. "It's here to cheer you up! Isn't that nice?" she continued. Sunni slowly calmed down as she watched the dolphin swim around in the air. Her sobs dissipated as more joined it.

"Aw isn't that better?" Lapis soothed. "Hey," she whispered into Sunni's ear like a secret, "Wanna see something that'll make you smile?" She brought a hand to her mouth and blew a raspberry against it. The baby giggled at the resulting noise. "There's our Little Sunshine!" Lapis said.

"Come on," Lapis continued, "Let's go out and play. Does that sound good to you?" The baby babbled back to her as she stepped out the door, leaving the two other gems floating in midair.

 **Sorry If Lapis is a bit OOC. This is my first time writing for her. If she is, please let me know. Thank you!**


	5. Chapter 5

Peridot glared at Sunni as she sat in her high chair. Her posture was rigid and unwavering. Her arms were crossed as she stared down the infant. Sunni stared back, her mouth a tight line across her face, and her wore a loom of stubborn rebellion. "This can be very simple, you know," Peridot said, "We can get this over with very quickly so long as you cooperate with me." Sunni frowned at that. "I'm doing this for your own good!" she continued, throwing her hands up, "Why can't you understand that?!" The baby still did not move.

Peridot picked up the spoon and the bowl full of green-brown mush. She forced a cheery smile as she spooned out some of the contents. "Look! It's a human vehicle controlled by a system of rails and primarily used for transporting organic fuel! Open up the tunnel!" she attempted, bringing the spoon closer to the infant's mouth Sunni's frown did not leave her face as she attempted to move as far away from the spoon as she could. Peridot growled as she clenched the spoon. "I'm doing this one way or another!" she announced, "You're just making this difficult!"

"What's going on now?" Steven asked as he walked in the kitchen.

Peridot turned to the half gem and pointed a finger accusingly at Sunni. "She won't eat any of the food I have prepared for her! I know for a fact that she's hungry but she still won't eat it!" she exclaimed.

"That's odd...She's usually not very picky…" Steven noted, stroking his chin and walking over, "What are you feeding her, anyways?"

"Based on my extensive research of human infants, I have concocted a nutrient ration that has all vitamins and minerals she requires for proper development," Peridot stated proudly.

Steven picked up the bowl of mush and sniffed it before immediately regretting that decision. His face went pale and he had to stop himself from throwing up. "God, Peri! Are you sure that's even edible?! It smells like raw sewage!" Steven exclaimed.

"Are you suggesting I would try to hurt her?" Peridot questioned.

"No but it would explain why she wouldn't want to eat it," Steven explained. He then walked over to the fridge and pulled something out. "Here," he said, setting the jar down in front of her, "It's apple sauce. Give her this instead." Sunni started reaching for the jar almost immediately.

"But that doesn't meet all of her requirements!" Peridot argued.

"It doesn't need to. She has more than one meal a day, you know?" Steven explained. "Do whatever you think is best, but I doubt you're going to get her to eat any of your 'power food'," he said walking out of the room.

Peridot turned back to the child, who was now chewing on the lid of the jar. She frowned and grabbed the jar from her before setting it somewhere else. "Trust me, you're going to thank me for this when you're older," she said picking up the spoon and green mush again. Sunni whimpered at her. "I'm serious, these first few years are critical for your development! If you don't get the right material for growth now, you'll be at a serious disadvantage later. Besides, You're not even going to remember the taste of this in an hour anyways," Peridot argued. Sunni pouted at her. "D-don't give me that look!" Peridot said, "It's not going to work!" Sunni slumped in her high chair, looking up at Peridot with big, sad eyes. "Don't think I'll give up that easily. I'm a gem. I can literally wait for an eternity! You'll tire of this charade eventually," Peridot reasoned, crossing her arms and leaning back.

(Later…)

Lapis walked into the kitchen to see Peridot face down on the table as she spoon fed Sunni apple sauce. "...You caved, didn't you?" she said. Peridot gave a defeated yet affirmative noise.


	6. Chapter 6

"And remember, you have to hold her with both hands! Here, let me show you-"

"I got it Pearl! You're acting like I've never held her before!" Jasper glared down at the slim gem. She held the child away from Pearl's reach.

Pearl crossed her arms."If I had it my way you wouldn't be near her at all…" she muttered, too low for anyone to hear. "Also, under no circumstance should you feed her solid food," she continued, "...Or spicy food! Or honey! Or soup! Or anything I have not specifically labeled as food for her! You know what, I should just feed her right now to make sure..." She began to reach again for the infant in Jasper's arms.

"I've got this! I'm not and idiot and I've helped the others take care of her when you've been away. I can handle a few hours alone with her!" Jasper snapped, shoving the smaller gem away with her elbow.

"But what if she needs a change! Or you lose track of her! Maybe I should just stay-" Pearl argued.

"Enough of this!" Peridot snapped. Pearl turned to see Peridot and Steven already standing on the warp pad. "If we want to make sure that haywire maintenance drone gets stopped, we need to leave now! We need you for this, or my plan isn't going to work!" Peridot tapped her foot impatiently.

"Come on, Pearl," Steven assured, "Everything's going to be fine. Jasper isn't going to try and hurt her."

"Yes but she's not the most...careful gem in the world," Pearl argued.

"Hey!" Jasper interjected, "I'm right here, you know?" Pearl ignored her.

"Isn't there anyone else we can get to help?" she pleaded.

"I told you Pearl," Steven said, "Garnet's out on a solo mission, Lapis is on a space walk right now, and Amythest...well I'm not quite sure what she's up too but it was definitely too dangerous to have a baby with her. Please Pearl, if we don't take care of this, a lot of innocent people could get hurt." Pearl sighed in defeat before stepping up on the warp pad. "Thanks Pearl," Steven said smiling at her. "And don't worry," he said in a lowered voice, "Peridot's got a robonoids programed to act as a baby monitor and Jasper has a cell phone on her if we need to check up on Sunni." Pearl looked a little relaxed more relaxed but not entirely so. "If it makes you feel any better, Amethyst will probably be back in an hour or so," he continued.

"How is that supposed to make me feel better?!" Pearl squawked. The warp chime then sounded, surrounding the three of them in a bright light. Once it had dissipated, Jasper and Sunni were alone in the room.

"Well kiddo, It looks like it's just you and me now," she said to the baby.

"Japa!" Sunni responded, looking up at Jasper.

"Not quite there yet but you're getting closer kid," she commented as she walked into the kitchen, "Keep working on it." She then walked over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle filled with juice. "Here, this should keep you quiet for a little while," she said handing it to the child while grabbing herself a soda. Sunni immediately began to drink from the bottle happily.

With Sunni safely secured in one arm despite Pearl's warnings, Jasper walked over to the TV and reclined in the seat in front of it. "You're in for a special treat today, kid," she said with a smirk. "I'm sure Pearl wouldn't approve of this, but I'm going to teach you about a very important part of your kind's culture," she said adjusting Sunni in her lap so that she was facing the TV, "One of my personal favorite aspects to be honest." Jasper picked up the remote and turned on the TV she flipped through the stations and scrolled through channel guide until she found what she wanted. With a grin, she selected the channel. "Sunni, I present to you one of the most violent and wonderful forms of entertainment your kind has ever created," she announced, "Hockey."

 **For some reason I really think Jasper would like Hockey more than Football(either kind). Maybe it's just because I grew up in a house that was more obsessed with the former than the latter, but I just feel it suits her better. Plus she probably loves watching all the fights that happen during hockey games. I was considering using wrestling instead, but that's kind of Amethyst's thing and I wanted to keep a separation between the quartzes. (Plus Jasper can probably tell that TV wrestling can be really fake). Anyways, I might continue this particular little vignette in this series, so for now, let's name it "Jasper the Babysitter Part ?"**

 **Hope you guys liked it! Please let me know what you think!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry this isn't thanksgiving themed even though I'm posting this on thanksgiving. Still I hope you guys like it.**

Lapis walked towards the temple with her bucket in hand. It glisten with several different multicolored seashells. When she had first come to live with steven, he had shown her. The common earth pastime of collecting seashells and it had quickly become a hobby for her. She would have stayed longer to collect more, except it was now her turn to look after Sunni. Well, it would be in about fifteen minutes, but she wanted to check up on how Jasper was doing with the little tyke. She had proved herself pretty capable, but that didn't mean she still didn't have issues. She still had a short temper and couldn't always be patient with the baby, and while she did enjoy spending time with Sunni, she could still be a little aloof around her.

As she walked up to the door, she could hear chuckling inside. She raised an eyebrow and opened the door. When she had, her eyes grew wide in surprise and her hand went straight to her mouth to cover her gasp. There on the floor in front of her was Jasper, crouched on her hands and knees like a jungle cat. A grin was spread on her face. Across from her was Sunni, her eyes filled with glee as she began crawling towards the giant gem. As she got closer, Jasper moved to the side slightly. Sunni quickly turned and headed after her giggling.

"Oh no she's after me!" Jasper cried, continuing to sidestep her. Sunni continuing to chase after her. "You are truly the most ruthless and unrelenting warrior!" she announced to the child dramatically. Sunni giggled and caught up to the orange gem, before sitting up and stretching her hands up.

"She's attacking!" Jasper narrated while grinning, "retaliation!" She slowly swung her fist above Sunni's head, purposefully missing. "But she expertly dodges," Then Sunni fell forward and her hands landed on Jasper's strong arm. "OUUUCH!" she cried out, scooping the child up and rolling onto her back. The child squealed as the large gem swung her through the air. "I've been hit! Oh the pain!" she bellowed, while still smiling. Sunni laid down on her chest.

"Oh dear warrior, will you spare me?" she pretended to plead. Sunni babbled in response and slapped her hand down on Jasper's chest several times. "Oh noooo!" Jasper shouted, "No mercy! I am slain!" "You are the most despicable creature," she said pointing a finger at the child. Sunni responded by grabbing said finger and began chewing on it. Jasper snickered slightly at that.

It stopped, however, when she heard a loud crash as a bucket hit the floor. Her eyes widened and her face grew pale as she turned to see Lapis standing in the doorway, trying to contain herself by clasping her hand over her mouth. Tears were in her eyes and she used her other hand to grip the door frame. Stray noises had been escaping from her but she couldn't hold back anymore. She burst out laughing and fell to the ground.

"Oh my stars!" she wheezed, "I can't breath! I can't breath! I can't!"

Jasper's face became flush as she glared at the blue gem. "Shut up," she growled. Lapis ignored her. "Shut up or I'll-"

"Or you'll what?" Lapis continued between bouts of laughter as she wiped her eyes, "You'll pretend to swing and me and coo at me?" She burst into another bout. Sunni started to giggle along with her. "Wow, wait 'till the others here about this! Steven and Connie are going to love it!"

Jasper's eyes grew wide. She stood up, holding Sunni in one of her arms. "Don't you dare!" she hissed, walking up to lapis and pointing at her. "I swear if you tell a soul about this, I will grind your gem into dust!" she threatened, narrowing her eyes at the smaller gem.

Lapis smirked confidently, swatting away her hand. "You wouldn't dare. Steven and the others would never forgive you and you know it," she said. She then looked passed Jasper. "Besides," she continued, "It looks like Garnet already knows."

Jasper turned around with a look of horror to see Garnet standing just a little bit in front of the warp pad, a large smile spread across her face with her arms crossed. "H-how long have you been standing there?" Jasper questioned, voice shaking.

"Long enough," Garnet said coolly as she walked up to her, "I came back from a mission about ten minutes ago, but you were too...preoccupied to notice." She picked Sunni out of the larger gem's arms. "You look like you had fun, but I bet you're tired now, huh?" she cooed to the child.

"Ga na!" she squealed.

"I thought so," Garnet said with a grin. "Lapis, do you mind if I put her to bed?" she asked the blue gem.

"Alright. I have to clean up the mess I made anyways before someone steps on it," she responded, looking down at the spilled bucket of shells. Garnet nodded before she began to walk towards Sunnis crib. "Oh and Jasper," she said stopping for a second, "Just so you know…Ruby used to do the exact same thing with Steven when he was Sunni's age."

 **Sorry for the bit of OOCness. I really just wanted to write this story in all its silliness. to my american viewers, I hope you have a great thanksnksgiving! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

"Ok, this is where I draw the line!" Connie snapped as she held Sunni in one arm. It was Christmas Day and she had been dealing with weird presents for Sunni all day from the gems. pearl gave something semi reasonable- a sweater. Garnet's was pretty reasonable to as it was a teddy bear though it was a patchwork one. Amethyst got her copies of Lil' Butler. Lapis panicked when she couldn't figure out what to give and just ended up giving her a bucket of shells, and Jasper...well that was the current issue.

"I don't see what the issue is," Jasper said with arms crossed.

"YOU'RE GIVING HER A SWORD!" Connie shouted, holding up the present for emphasis. "She's two young for that! Where did you even get this?!" To be honest it was less of a sword and more like a large dagger.

"So? You had a sword when you were young," the quartz reasoned.

"I was twelve! She's barely a year old! There's a difference," Connie said in exasperation.

"And most gems have weapons from the day they're born," Jasper continued, "Besides it looks like she likes it." Sunni was reaching for the small sword in her mother's other hand. Connie then set it on a table before walking back to Jasper.

"Yes but she's not a gem, at least not entirely anyways," she continued, "She's too young for something like that! She could seriously her herself!"

"That's a risk no matter the age," the orange gem argued, "You do realize that gems on homeworld have hurt themselves with their own weapons as well. Besides, I never suggested you train her to sword fight right now! If you don't want her to learn, then you don't have to let her. I only gave it in case she ever wanted to in the future."

"You know, she has a point," Steven piped up. With one look from Connie he quickly backed out of the conversation again.

It was then that Peridot walked into the room proudly carrying her present. It had taken her a while to find it amidst all the other items she was keeping in her storage area. "You didn't have to give it to her now though!" Connie continued, "She could have used a lot of other things like actual toys for babies!"

"Oh what am I supposed to do? Go to the store and buy something with all the money I don't have?!" Jasper snapped, "If you haven't noticed, I'm a GEM! We don't exactly have bank accounts!"

Connie let out a long sigh as she tried to calm down. She knew Jasper meant well, but that didn't make this gift any less of a bad idea. "You could have carved something, or maybe gotten something from Amethyst," Connie reasoned, " My point is, there's a lot you could have done instead. You don't see Peridot trying to give her a home made chemistry set."

At that Peridot stopped, her eyes going wide. She then stuck her present behind her back and began to sheepishly back out of the room. Connie turned to her and looked at her in shock. "You didn't,…" she quietly said.

"Well…" Peridot started, "I wasn't exactly expecting it to be put to use for a couple years…"

With that, Jasper let out hardy laugh and Connie's hand connected to her forehead. "That's it, " she grumbled as she went to sit back down, "I give up."

 **Hey guys! Merry Christmas! Also sorry this took so long. I wanted to save this one for Christmas. Also, I've been having trouble thinking of ways to have the home world gems interact with an infant. I've been thinking of expanding the one-shots into when Sunni's a child. Do you guys think that's a good idea? let me know!**


	9. Chapter 9

Jasper and Pearl glared at each other from across the table. These two were never the closest of friends, but they could be civil with each other most of the time. This was not one of those times. If looks could kill, there would be a war zone between the two gems. No one dared go near them like this. They certainly didn't want the chance to end up as collateral damage when one of them snapped. It was only a matter of time really. The tension between them was so thick you could cut it with a knife. One of them was going to rock the boat soon enough.

And it appeared that Jasper would be the one to break the silence. "I'm only going to say this once Pearl," Jasper growled, "If you try to keep me from taking Suni to hockey try-outs this year, I will make your life hell!"

Pearl simply crossed her arms. "And I'm telling you that if you think you're going to have her take part in that barbaric sport instead of something more practical, like that figure skating class I suggested, then you have another thing coming!" she hissed, not even shaken by Jasper's intimidating posture.

"How is figure skating practical?!" Jasper snapped, "And hockey is not barbaric! It builds character!"

"And by "character", I'm sure you mean a list of broken bones!" Pearl retorted.

Steven watched from the distance as Connie walked in with her morning coffee. "How long have they been at it this time?" she asked.

"All night," Steven sighed, "I'm surprised they didn't wake Sunni up with their bickering."

"Ugh…They've been doing this for months!" she groaned, "Can't they just come to an agreement already?!" In truth, that had been a serious understatement. It's true that the main debate on whether Sunni should take up figure skating or hockey only started after she turned five, but the seed of this war had been planted long ago when Sunni was only three and she had first been taken ice skating. Although she had fallen a lot like all children do their first time, she had loved skating and practically demanded to go skating every other night in winter. When Steven and Connie were unable to take her, the gems were happy to oblige. Lapis and Sapphire would even make a skating rink on the beach for her if necessary! Soon enough, she had become the most proficient skater of her age group in all of Beach City. And then Jasper made the comment.

"Man, She's great!" Jasper had said, "She'll make a great hockey player one day!"

To which Pearl looked at her strangely and responded with, "You mean figure skater...Right?" And it all went downhill from there.

"Well at least if she grows up with figure skating, she'll actually learn something, like hard work and coordination!" Pearl shouted.

"She can learn those things from hockey too! And she has the chance to learn to be a leader and work on a team!" Jasper retorted.

"Then maybe YOU should take up hockey, Jasper!" Pearl spat, "I'm sure you could really use the lessons!"

Jasper flipped the table that was between them. "THAT'S IT!" she yelled, "PREPARE TO BE SAND AGAIN, YA GLORIFIED KIDNEY STONE!" Both gems summoned their weapons.

"Uh oh," Steven sighed, "not again." He summoned his sheild and Connie grabbed he sword, preparing to intervien. Before anyone could do anything, however, they all heard the patter of tiny feet on the tile floor. Both gems emediatly desolved their weapons and Jasper put the table back to where it had been. They forced smiles as the child walked in the room, pretending nothing had happened.

"Hi Sunni!" Pearl greeted cheerfully, "How did you sleep?"

"Good!" the five year old said cheerfully, "But I woke up cause I heard noise. Were you two fighting again?" She looked at the two gems innocently.

The two exchanged guilty looks. "Yes, we were having an argument," Pearl admitted reluctantly.

Sunni pouted in disappointment. "Auntie Jasper and Pearl!" she scolded, "You two shouldn't be fighting! You're teammates!"

Jasper looked away and folded her arms. "We're sorry, Sunni," Pearl said, "Will you forgive us?"

Sunnie pretended to think for a second, before smiling and nodding. "Ok Auntie Pearl!" she said, "I forgive you guys." She then held her arms up for Pearl to pick her up into a hug, to which the lithe gem was happy to oblige.

Everything was calm for a second until Jasper got an idea. "Hey Sunni," she said, "Would you be willing to answer a question for us?"

Pearl gave her a confused and wary look. Sunni was oblivious to this. "Sure Auntie Jasper!" she said.

"Well, Pearl and I were wondering which sport you'd like to take up this winter: Figure skating or Hockey?" she said. Pearl glared at Jasper though Sunni couldn't see here. Steven and Connie glanced at each other warily. They didn't know if this was a good idea or not.

"Hmm…" Sunni said tapping her chin, "I like both!"

Jasper frowned and Pearl looked surprised. "Yes but which do you want to do this year?" Jasper asked.

"I want to do both! I think they'll be fun!" she restated. The two gems' jaws were agape, unsure of what to say. Sunni's parents, however, were mentally cheering as this stupid debate was finally over. "I'm gonna go get breakfast," the little girl announced. Sunni then slipped down from Pearl's lap and walked over to her mother, leaving the the two flabbergasted gems alone.

 **Hey! Sorry this took so long. January was really busy for me. Also I've gotten back into DBZ recently and have been writing some fics for that. I have two Steven Universe DBZ crossover fics up right now. the first, a Saiyan Among Gems is about a young vegeta being looked after by the crystal gems and the other, Dragon Ball Steven, is about Steven being looked after by the Z Fighters instead of the crystal gems. shameless plug aside, I will try to get more out for this fic soon. if you want to leave sugestions for chapters, feel free to! thanks for reading!**


	10. Chapter 10

Lapis had never seen Sunni's school before, let alone after hours. But her she was, at her fall parent teacher conference along with Peridot. Both Connie and Steven were busy that evening: Connie had a late shift that evening and Steven had been called on an emergency gem mission along with the rest of the gems minus the two of them. They had considered just calling up the teachers later and having conferences over the phone, but Peridot had volunteered the two of them to take their places and be at the conferences for them and relay the conversations to them later.

"Are you sure about this, Peridot?" Steven had questioned, "A lot of people will be there and I have some specific questions for her teachers."

"It'll be fine!" she assured, "I have acquainted myself with the art of polite earth conversation over years, and I would be more than happy to ask any question you have if you write it down. I'll even record the conversations so you may take notes on them later!"

Steven rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Well I guess that will work…" he sighed.

"Of course it will work! You have nothing to worry about!" she said with a smile.

And thus they were now standing in the cafeteria of the fifth grader's elementary school. It had taken them a little while to convince the security guard to let them in (after lapis froze him to the wall) but they had finally made it down stairs to the lunch room where the teachers had their tables set up. "We should probably split up to get to every teacher," Lapis suggested. As soon as she turned her head, she saw Peridot made a B-line for the science teacher. Lapis shrugged her shoulders before she wandered over to the art teacher's table.

….

"What did you just say?!"

Lapis nearly jumped as she recognized the shrill voice. She looked around to see the little green standing on the science teacher's desk and glaring at him. "I'm sorry Ma'am, but it's true!" he said, holding his hands up defensively, "Sunni has been very disruptive. She's been interrupting me in class and claiming what I've been teaching is wrong!" "She's been doing poorly in my class because she refuses to answer questions correctly," he continued.

"That's impossible! I've taught her everything she knows about science!" Peridot argued, "My figures are always correct!"

"I'm sorry, but are you even qualified to teach science?" he snapped.

"More qualified than you with your primitive mammal brain!" she retorted. Lapis' hand met her forehead.

"Primitive?!" the teacher cried, "I spent six years in school to get my degree!"

"Too bad it was wasted on a clod like you!" she shouted.

"That's it. We're out of here," Lapis thought as she quickly marched over to the irate green gem and pulled her away from the table.

"Hey!" she cried, "Let go of me! I wasn't finished with the conference!"

"Well you are now," she muttered as she walked out of the school building with the squirming gem under her arm.

….

When Steven returned home he saw Lapis sitting at a stool in the kitchen and Peridot muttering to herself on the couch with crossed arms and a sour expression. Against his better judgement, he dared to ask, "Did the conferences go well?"

Peridot huffed and Lapis sighed. "I don't think we're going to be welcomed back any time soon," Lapis admitted.

"So what?! I don't want to see that 'science teacher' again anyways!" Peridot snapped, "More like pseudo science teacher if you ask me!"

Steven pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do I want to know what happened?" Lapis shook her head no. He sighed. "Please tell me at least nothing got destroyed," he pleaded.

"Don't worry. We didn't stay long enough for something like that to happen," lapis assumed, "But I'm pretty sure Peridot would have assaulted one of the teachers if we stayed any longer."

"Thank goodness you didn't," he said in relief. At least no one got hurt…or so Steven thought until he found out on the news that a man had been mysteriously frozen to the wall of the school when it was a particularly balmy march evening.

 **Sorry it's been so long since I've updated this work. I've been busy with a few other fanfics like Dragon ball Steven swell as school stuff. Still i hope you enjoy this chapter.**


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